More Bam Bam than Pebbles

This one may piss off the ACLU, we could be facing litigation from the folks at Geico, and my knowledge of early mankind can certainly be called into question since it’s primarily based on TV and movies. However, I have a lot of reason to believe Hannah is the intellectual equivalent of a 20-year old male caveman. Just hear me out.


She communicates through various grunts, groans, whines, whimpers, and wails, accompanied by the occasional point. Actual, audible and decipherable words are still few and far between. Don’t get me wrong, she’s building up quite an impressive vocabulary (to us), but very rarely does she use them yet without being prompted or encouraged. Why would you when a simple “unh?” or “ach!” will do? Pretty neanderthal-ish, huh?

She has very little regard for her own bodily waste. Correction, she has no distaste for it. Really, she finds it interesting and amusing. One of her favorite “games” is to get out of the bathtub, fight through me holding a towel like a linebacker in pursuit shedding a sluggish offensive lineman, and make a break for her bedroom. Immediately upon entry she turns around, looks back at me, grins and grunts. A half-second later there’s a little dark wet spot at her feet and a liquid streak down her inner leg. This is hilarious! To her. Very primitive if you ask me.

The most impressive thing she’s done recently, however, was discover that throwing something down on a hard floor causes it to either break, crack, leak or just do something different than it did before. Water cup with a tight lid and straw? Not much fun, barely leaks. But slam it down like Shaq on the kitchen tile and you can create yourself a nice little puddle. Can’t get the lid off your teddy grahams? Spike it, do the Icky Shuffle, and help yourself to a nice little snack. I joke, but it was actually really cool to see her figure this out for the first time. Pretty cute, too. But then it got old real quick.

That pretty much summarizes our parenting experience thus far – for every 10 seconds of genuine pride and amazement we feel when she learns something new on her own, we have 10 hours of trying to teach her to use

this new found power for good and not evil.

You know, after re-reading all this and giving it some thought, maybe I’m wrong. Unintelligible communications, potty humor, and breaking things for fun? Maybe a more appropriate comparison would be to a 21-year old college kid who recently discovered Jager bombs and penny pitchers. She reminds me a lot of some friends who attended IU, one of which is now doing really well in a highly paid profession. Either way, caveman or undergrad, she’s our little cutie¬†and we wouldn’t trade her for anything. Well, at least until she discovers fire. Then we’re really in trouble.

November 24, 2013. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Observations and musings, Updates. Leave a comment.

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