M&M’s will never taste the same

7823DD17-AAD6-4F17-A473-89EC720AEB72_zpsrrrbmria (1)A few weeks ago, about a month after her 2nd birthday, Hannah started showing signs of being ready for potty training. She’d pull at her diaper and say something to that resembled “change diaper” and she showed interest in using the little pink toilet that we had sitting in the bathroom. One of my favorite stories that I’ll be telling until I can no longer talk is the first time she actually took off her pants and diaper and went into the bathroom because she knew she had to potty – she proceeded to put her hands on the wall, lean forward, and spread eagle over the toilet so she could “pee like daddy.” She was about as accurate as me too.

Because our beloved sitter Vicki wasn’t up for potty training toddlers (she had 2 others in her care) we decided to expedite the inevitable and enroll Hannah into daycare about a month and a half earlier than we planned. This wasn’t an easy decision, for many reasons, not least of which was the fact that we’d soon be paying about 50 more dollars a week at a daycare compared to what we were paying for in-home care. However, because it’s all about the munchkin and no longer about the Benjamins, we got her signed up and enrolled. After a series of snafus with our first choice (to put it nicely) we pulled a switcheroo, and now we’re loving her current “school.” (I know Joan will read this – we love your school as well and may end up there at some point 🙂 )

Hannah is now at Grace Point’s Kiddie Prep School and doing great. They are very hands-on with the potty training. We’re a week in and she’s having 1-2 accidents per day, usually one at school and one at home. It’s not going to happen overnight, we understand that, so it’s a fairly taxing ordeal. Every time we go through things like this I have more and more respect for my brother and sister-in-law – man, I just cannot imagine doing all this x2 with twins.

While the daycare is successful with getting Hannah to sit on the throne using stickers as collateral, we’ve resorted to mini M&M’s, fruit snacks, candy corn, whatever it takes. And talk about a rampant little mind – all I want her to do is take a leak and Hannah goes from being engrossed in Little Mermaid to dancing to dropping her drawers in the bathroom and sitting for half a second to running around the family room giggling pants-less to back to sitting on the potty for 3 seconds then to a meltdown about Ducky not being with her then another meltdown about Mommy not being in the room…then finally finishing that potty session. And this is every 30-45 minutes. Exhausting.

Something no one tells you until you’re in the thick of it is that it’s called “potty” training and not “potty and poop” training for a reason. That’s because apparently learning how to drop a deuce on a toilet is not the easiest thing for a 2 year old to grasp – even one that’s related to me! Not surprisingly, it’s much more comfortable, natural, and satisfying to just let it go in your diaper, or now in our case, undies. There really aren’t too many messier situations than changing a poo-filled pull-up diaper or size 4T underwear. It’s become second nature with the regular Pampers – just undo the velcro, lift the butt, and slide the diaper right out. Now, it’s much more complicated than that with pull-ups or panties. And by complicated, I mean shit gets everywhere. Maybe I’m just bad at it, but it gets on her legs, feet, my hands, the changing pad, the dresser, everywhere. A couple of times I’ve felt like the kid in Slumdog Millionaire who really wants that autograph.

We’re looking at the bright side, though. We really don’t want to have two in diapers at the same time. And the second one will be here before we know it (the OB’s crystal ball says March 10 as a matter of fact!)…so no pressure or anything Hannah. She’s well on her way, but we know there’s a long way to go, and this road isn’t exactly paved with gold.

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September 9, 2014. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Observations and musings, Uncategorized, Updates. Leave a comment.

$h!t hits the fan

First, let me apologize ahead of time for the impending salty language. We’re typically not vulgar people, but we are human. And every once in awhile, ok occasionally…fine, often times our words can be a little colorful. However, we understand that a toddler is very impressionable and a budding impressionist. As I’ve mentioned before, even as a sub-2 year old Hannah seems to have a genuine sense of humor. Which tickles me beyond words. But there’s a time and a place, and age-appropriateness, and at TargIMG_0769et the other night she mimicked my potty mouth and got a kick out of it. Sadly, so did I.

The kid loves her pacifier. But when she sees something she wants to eat or drink she tosses her passy aside and makes her demand. We try to do our parental duty and have her find the pacifier and hand it to us, then ask nicely with a please, but sometimes we get distracted. In this particular case Hannah and I were heading toward checkout and she requested some ‘nana, so I told her she needed to wait until we paid for them and got to the car. What I didn’t do was watch where the pacifier landed. Next thing I know we’re putting bags in the car, I pick her up out of the cart, and realize I don’t have the pacifier. And neither does she.

“Oh shit” I muttered. Barely above my breath. But being that she was 6 inches away from my face, paying full attention to me, and is a human tape recorder, she replied back “chit.” I did a double-take and she said it again, this time with a big smile, “chit. chit.” Now at this point I’m fighting back laughter, but I can tell she sensed my surprise and suppressed delight from the get-go. She had me at “chit.” Anyone who knows Hannah has to be smiling right now picturing the little shit cheesing while sweetly saying “chit.” She must have said it 5 more times from the time we went back in to get replacement pacifiers (she only had one left at home and we’re not yet prepared for the impending separation battle – don’t judge), to the time she was strapped back in her seat and we’re headed for home.

That was Tuesday night and I haven’t heard it out of her since, so we’re in the clear for now…but I know it’s just a matter of time before it happens again. We love that her vocabulary seems to double daily, but I don’t think we’re ready for a little Eddie Murphy just yet.

March 15, 2014. Tags: , , , , , , , , . Observations and musings. Leave a comment.

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